from now on my penis is your penis
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There's always time for handjobs
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
