I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
