Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
