Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
