Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
