i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
