Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
