would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize