I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
