Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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