I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
