Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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