hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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