What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
