you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
