Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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