Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize