Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
