I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
the liver wants what the liver wants
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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