May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
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