He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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