Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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