I want to make a zoo with you.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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