i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
