i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
