I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
