I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
