It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
