I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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