Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
