my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize