So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize