well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
