I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize