Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
