dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
