Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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