If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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