he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
