some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
