I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So squirting runs in the family.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Of course I have a pirate flag
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
