shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
