drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
