I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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