Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
