I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
