Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
pop tarts are not kleenex
porn star boner night. come get it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am available for nakedness
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
