Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
