we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
