Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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