4 words: hood of his car
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
