wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize