That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
