Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i think my cat just said my name.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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