We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
