By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
