This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
