He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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