my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize