worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
