Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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