So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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