just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
