Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
